1. Lemonade Stand (as imagined by an ambitious 9 year old))

    If I was wearing my red shirt this would be going much better. Yes, last time I wore the red shirt we sold at least 4 cups before noon. Or maybe if Timothy wasn’t here our profit margins would be greater. Timothy really needs to know when to stop saying innocuous things — the older people seem to find this very distracting. I think it’s best to get right to the point and say “lemonade” straight away, lest they think we are selling water like the amateurs down the street. I know it’s hot, but come on, water? They take no pride in their craft. Anyone can make water — it requires a very advanced skill set to make the perfect cup of powdered lemonade.

    It could be our cups? Are dixie cups the most visually appealing cups to the older people? Older people sure are boring, and so are Dixie Cups…I think this makes them the right cup for the job — not to mention it’s the only cup our supplier could get us on such short notice. I wanted to use the weird shaped glasses that break all the time, but our supplier told us these were “grown up glasses”. Given that grown ups are our target demographic, I felt this would have been good strategy. The supplier disagreed and gave us Dixie.

    Or maybe people want more lemonade? I’ve seen Timothy drink at least six dixie cups worth of lemonade before…yes this must be it! Our portions are too small! Grown ups are huge! We should be selling at least 2 Dixie Cups worth of this fantastic beverage. Surely then the older people would give us endless amounts of quarters. Imagine what we could buy with this endless supply of quarters! Obviously more legos, but we could also buy water guns and assault the customers of our competing branch. Fight the water sellers with water! Of course I’d have to pin the raid on Timothy, but this can be arranged.

    I suppose it also could be our prices. 25cents sure does seem like an awful lot — and the older people, especially the ones that come in the cars, never have “exact change.” They just blab about parking meters and move on. One even said something about a recession. Maybe we should do another promotion…When we paired the lemonade with wads of grass that seemed to go over pretty well with the younger crowd. The grown ups liked it when we would sing the ABCs, but we don’t have Katie to sing the upper harmonies anymore. My older sister told us “looking sad” would help us “rake it in”, but this was a serious damper on company morale and we had to abandon it.

    Well I suppose in the end it doesn’t matter. My net income for this month should be way above average when my supplier gives me my monthly stipend. Because of inflation, my salary went up 50 cents, putting me somewhere around $6 for the month. If things ever do get tight I could even sell the whole enterprise to Timothy. Probably could get $6 for it and he wouldn’t know the difference. We’ve only got about 2 pitchers left (or $3.75 worth of product) — Timothy would never know I got him for the extra $2.25 in the deal.

    Yeah I guess I’m pretty set if this whole thing goes under. Not really even sure why we’re out here come to think of it…

Notes

  1. alexcornell posted this